In The Trenches.......

Today as I sit here.....as my husband would put it "I am on fire".  Not literally but on fire for Christ.  After leaving what seemed like a war zone I should of been rejoicing to come home and be happy to be in the comforts of my home and life here but it is actually to the contrary it is the opposite just like everytime I leave Ukraine.  I am thankful to be home to my family only but oh how I long to go back into the trenches to fight for the orphan on Gods behalf.  If God asked me now to drop everything and told me He wants us to move across the oceans to serve with His children would I.....no question, YES.  I would have everything packed and ready to go in minutes.  Are their comforts I need here....nope but do I need an occasional supply of parasite cleanse.  Oh yes! But I reflect on the verse "Look at the birds", said Jesus.  "Do they store up food in the barn?  No.  God feeds them".  "Look at the flowers", said Jesus.  "They don't need work or make clothes.  God dresses them in lush pretty leaves and petals".  Jesus said we are much more important then the birds or the flowers and He said don't worry.  If he can take care of the birds and flowers then he can surely take care of you. 

I have had some of those emails come in where they state I am trying to adopt an almost adult and trying to take them from their home and their life they want.  Let me explain I do not twist their arms....obviously or I would have brought Slavic home.  These boys 7 days before I took off I talked to them and they were ready and waiting for me to come for them.  Sure there are some kids that want to stay and I can spot them a mile away and there is nothing wrong with that and I am not one to push them otherwise.  These children although they do not have say in what their birth parents do with them they do have a voice and say if they wanted to be adopted should a family show for them.  But moreso the important part in all this is the kids voices that are not heard that want a family because if no one is there to hear them they never make it into a forever family and they wilt away loose hope and break and their future....death, drugs, alcohol, addictions, prostitution.  So email adoption haters are you asking me to lay down my sword for them and to turn away on the ones that want a family.  This is my answer "hell no".  Let me make it loud and clear a big fat "HELL NO".  

See this young man.....this is my son Kolya...we adopted him as a teenager.  He had a voice...no one heard him....he wanted a family more then breathing.  When the New Horizons Team would come to interview kids for hosting he never was brought into the program but always in the back of the room watching and smiling.  LeAnn the founder finally asked about him after seeing him over and over each hosting interview trip and again just standing there in the distance and well now he is my son.  Someone saw him, asked about him and took a chance on him and now he is my TEENAGE son and he travels to Ukraine with me doing missions work.  Was he worth it? Was he worth the battle?  DARN RIGHT!  So folks out there that love to bash people for adopting older teens or children with special needs I love ya all and you are so awesome to take the time to write all us families and explain your concern for us.  That is mighty white of you to care so much about us....but this is the thing....God cares about you....he cares about you so much he allowed you to come into this world.  He loves you and also knows every hair on your head.  When you are saying things to other people that hurts the core of Gods heart HE STILL LOVES YOU.  He is your divine creator.  I know you have hurts in your life that fuels you to write other people and express your opinion and anger but God can heal that too all you have to do is ask.  So I just want to let you know you can write me anytime and I would be happy to share my testimony with you of the errors of my choices that I had control over and some not and my passion to serve my great God.  You may write me to make me sad, discourage me or make me angry but that ain't happening I will only pray and love you more like my Sash.  I chased him down that long dirt road and I would do the same for you.  Maybe it is you the ones that discourage others to answer the call to adopt or serve the orphan that needs to lay down your sword because I know this battle is not with you but with Satan that is why I love YOU. 

Let me show you some photos of some children......some of these children have been heard they want family and to live in a home with their family but their family will not provide and care for them so they are STUCK in the orphanage and their parents hold the control over them.  They are told they cannot go to another family while they wilt away in the boarding school praying for something better.  Some of these children they have a parent in prison or missing so they cannot have parental right revoked,  it could be written off by a judge but no one has the kahuna's to sign them off to be free and the child wants a family but is STUCK!  Some are children that want to remain in Ukraine in the orphanage but God still calls me to go love them and so I do.  Some are children legally free and only hoping someone will see their face and hear their voice to help find them a family.....some are just neighborhood village kids that spent time with me and Kolya that we just loved on.  These are all Gods children....these are all the future generation of children....they are loved and they are wanted by Christ.  He wants their hearts and I will be a messenger for Christ to make sure these kids know they are loved orphaned or not.  Ukraine, in the US or abroad.  Fact remains we are called out into the world as Christians to serve the orphans and the widows and if you sit back and do nothing then nothing will be done.  God calls us to be the messengers.  He calls us to be the voices for the unheard.  If you look at the title of my blog in which I started after losing Sergiy over two years ago it is called "And this one matters".  Even if it is only one child that is heard, one child that is saved....it matters to Him and it matters to me.  I would go to the ends of the earth for these kids if that is what God called me to do.  I would for you as well.  So this post is a post for all the ones that are bitter by my actions and actions of others to move to the call to serve, love, foster, adopt the orphan but also to make my stance clear I serve God, I serve and love the orphan, the at-risk youth and I surely loves teens and special needs children as I have 2 special needs children I am blessed to call my children and a teen young man...I would bring many more home if God called.  Been serving with them for 20 years and I just don't see that changing anytime soon.  Again if you would like to write me all the hate mail or discouraging emails please go ahead I am happy to love you, happy to respond and happy you would take the time to write me about your concerns.  You are precious to God too! 

 Our Tania whom is HIV positive and someone fought on her behalf to be heard she wanted a family and her buddy Alona adopted from Ukraine.  Alona had a voice and someone heard her and fought on her behalf to bring her home. 

 These three beautiful girls are STUCK.  The first one my friend is adopting but she is stuck in the system of becoming legally free.  Marina the one in the middle I advocated for only she had a voice, wanted a family and her parents are MIA and she cannot be legally free unless signed off on.  No one will touch her case.  SHE IS STUCK!  Little Christina....oh how little Christina longs to be with her family...a family...she has one but they visit her occasionally but will not allow her to have what she rightly desires a full time family to love, protect and care for her as every child should have and God intended.  Is this Gods fault NO....He gave us all free will its our choice on basically everything your life presents you and what you do with it and how you handle it.  He gave us the instruction to follow the Bible.  Some choose to live by it, others ignore it others take some from it that they seem fit for their lifestyle.  God calls us to take all or nothing.  But again it is our choice.....

 This is Andrei he has a voice and he hunted me down and asked me to be his voice to find him a family.   You think I am going to turn away from that....HELL NO!  To read more about Andrei's story please visit:
http://andthisonematters.blogspot.com/2013/08/i-have-laid-my-sword-downbut-he-still.html

This is Anya.....she had a family come to adopt her....she said no because she has a laundry list of demands.....after time she realized like many she mad a horrible mistake and came asking many of my friends if she could have a second chance.  Once I arrived she came to me and asked me to help her have a voice so that her forever family will find her.  Her laundry list hit the ground and withered away and she wants family more then anything.  She like us, all sinners asked for a second chance.  God sent his son to die on the cross for us to DIE for US...the ultimate sacrifice.....should I walk away from her because she made a mistake and is asking for a second chance.  HELL NO!  God never walked away from us.....He came to us.....and is still standing their waiting on us.....
To read more about Anya and people that know her please visit: 
 http://andthisonematters.blogspot.com/2013/08/meet-anyashe-is-asking-for-second.html

 This is our Sash whom chose to stay in Ukraine, his friend Slava that lives in the local village we loved spending time with, Iliya whom is being adopted and my Kolya and Alex.  They all have voices whether it be to be adopted or not accept Slava being a local kid but one fact is true and real....they all wanted and needed to be loved family or no family.  That boy Slava although he has a family of his own greeted me everyday with a hug and grin and arms opened wide to see me until the day I left.  Love that kid!

 They all deserve love...or to be heard even if it is just a "hey what's up"......someone taking the time to acknowledge them.  The one to the left in the above photos yes he wants to be heard he wants a family! But someone needs to hear his voice.

 Slava and Kolya just being boys jumping into the creek.  God calls us to be a light and reflection of him and to love one another.  If that was what our trip was for although we did not come home with our boys then so be it.  Would I do the trip all over again knowing the outcome....TOTALLY! 

 Slava taking another boy into the creek!  :)

 He had a voice and he spoke loud and clear to me and others on the mission team and now he is coming home.  He matters!

 The one in the middle....so badly wants a family along with his older brother....will you be the one to hear his voice and advocate for him.....someone needs to hear them!?

 Sash showing his awesome side playing and loving on the kids.

 Even the dogs matter.....she was a doll....I have taught my kids big or small child, teen, adult, grandpa, grandma....they all matter. 

These boys both matter.  Andrei on the left STUCK!  He wants a family, parental right revoked but mom still has control over his decision mentally and has told him a big fat no and so he listens but stays in a boarding school with maybe an occasional visit.  I even had a family willing to cross the oceans for him and his brothers to adopt them.  STUCK!  The boy in the middle also Andrei....he and his brother so desperately want a family.  But someone would need to step up.  None of these kids ask for this.  They are left with decisions and pain beyond what they should bare but someone has to step up to love them whether it be there or from afar, pray for them, hear them, advocate for them, minister into their lives, adoption, foster care....whatever God is calling you to do.  I am sure he is not saying hey they don't matter just ignore the need whatever it may be, turn your head because it hurts you too much to look at their faces.  Again God calls us to do something other then sit in pews and judge people or write letters criticizing the moves of the righteous or willing.  Until we can wear white we have no business judging or speaking bad about anyone.  I do not believe any one of us will be wearing white accept Christ. 

    Yes I am far from wanting to be a ganst'a...or even listening to rap but I will say this I am blessed with three kids we went into the trenches for and they were so incredibly worth it.  Kolya and Tania were hell on wheels and extremely difficult and now I look at them and see had I given up on them I would have never known what God could do in their lives....God never gave up on us so we have no right to give up on the orphans, the widows the ones truly in need.  My boys may be across the seas and staying in Ukraine that did not choose adoption but they will always know that they are loved by God and me.  

So God when do we go back to Ukraine again?

I Have Laid My Sword Down......But He Still Reigns.....

As fast as I got Sash back when I received a call he changed him mind,  I lost him. God calls each of us as Christians to seek after the widows and orphans in their distress but he did not make promises of the outcome.  He did not say specifically what each of us are called to do for the orphans or widows in the details of seek and care for them, pray for them, foster or adopt, help a foster or adoptive family with assistance or financial support, etc. But He does call us into action, there is no question.  He did not single out any specific gender or race, He made a BOLD statement in scripture to all Christians and believers of Christ.  Big, tall, short, fat, skinny, blonde, redheads, brunettes, etc, He did not exclude anyone and He made it loud and clear.   I firmly believe He will lay on ones heart specifically your calling of action to the widows and orphans.....but He did not say it would be easy.  He did not say the outcome would be what you have hoped, thought, dreamed, expected.....after all it is not for our glory....it is not for our kingdom....it is not for our happiness and joy but for Christs and Christs alone.  He knows these children's names....He knows how many hairs are on their heads, He knew their future when they were born and all the decisions they would be faced with good and bad.  But God is sovereign, He is just even in times like these, He is the Alpha and the Omega and HIS WORD DOES NOT GO VOID.  In my last post I tried to explain what was clear to be a mass Satan attack what looked like from an above aerial view of what would like a plane crash with wreckage all over the place.  The clanking of the swords of God angels verse Satan's demons fighting at the gates of this boarding school for the souls of these kids....I did not only hear the swords clashing but I was witnessing the battle first hand. The wreckage went beyond my boys........

 

What happened and why did we now return home when there was 3 boys......as you know the battle for Sash was his freedom verse family.  It was difficult to watch as you would see him battling the 8 year old rejected by this mother then the freedom's he wanted on a going on 16 year old.  You could literally see him flop from one to another.  His girlfriend that got to him emotionally he could not bare to leave and the pressure of his freedoms and what could be.  All three of my boys leading up a week to my arrival had pressures from others about not leaving and of course the old wise tale of what we will do with them once they are here in America.  Then Sash also carried a burden of something again I vowed to keep between us that loomed over him.  He was at war, basically with boxing gloves in a ring by himself punching himself.   But then there was the silent battles for Alex (tall Sasha) and Slavic.  Slavic again wanted to be hosted.  We could not get him hosted so we went diving in to adopt him and take the risk.  He wanted us to adopt him like the other boys 7 days prior to arrival but haven't ever been to America the lies and deceit crowded his mind with fears.  Slavic had family as well.  Although they gave us their blessing, it was ever so abundantly clear when I saw him he did not want to leave his family, friends nor Ukraine.  I could not bare to ask him to leave his life there.  Although the outcome in unknown for his future I know his heart was not in it to leave everything he knows.  Then Alex.....this young man started to blossom as our relationship grew and his trust grew.....he was smart enough not to believe the foolish lies that were spread about Americans but in the same breath the fears I had for him in a family with children although they never surfaced they did on our last day before heading to Kyiv.  There were little signs leading up to the last day and  I even joked with Sash I could telegraph his punches but Alex...he was quiet and you have to watch out for those ones.  Well a few things happened that were not normal and were a little off over the course of a couple days as he got closer to me but I addressed them and moved on.  But our last day with him out of no where and not provoked he came at Kolya and he wanted to hurt him.  I was right there and saw it start to finish and a second time he went at him.  When I saw the switch in his eyes when he hurt Kolya and I told him to stop I knew it was over.  I could not allow him to hurt Kolya but my worst fear with him I had now witnessed....I could not risk him hurting Stopha or Tania which in no question in my mind he would.  I asked God to let me see and hear the things I may not want to hear and see the night before and He faithfully did as much as it hurt to witness........My love for those boys will never waiver.  Now I have a clearer understanding of Gods love for us when we constantly reject him or run from him and He is always just there waiting on us.

My friends that are missionaries that brought Christ into our boys school, one of them was accused by another child of saying and doing something that was never done and fault was blamed at her.  Then my dear friend whom was on the mission trip with us when I met the boys and is not adopting Lisa....he and his family were prepared to fly in 2 weeks to adopt their girl I love and adore to find out that she is not legally free.  She was put on the registry then booted off at one point then put on 6 months ago and still has 6 months to go.  The family is devastated as was I when I got the news standing outside the Kyiv office when I was suppose to be also in there getting Sash's referral.  There was one hit after another beyond our family and boys.  Then before we left for Ukraine our friends that came to adopt a precious young lady we got the pleasure of meeting on our mission trip in March/April when they showed up to bring their girl home the wife was not yet old enough by a month so they have to return for her.  When I said Satan is not slumbering, he truly is and was not slumbering.  The battles at the school were thick and wide like a chunky soup.  It was like being in quick sand and not being able to get your feet out and just when you thought you got them out enough to step on hard solid land you started sinking again. 

In the midst of this mess I would read my daily devotional and oh how each day it spoke to me in the midst of battle for the boys and the children there I have come to love and adore.  The outpouring of prayers for the boys and myself was amazingly felt...each day when I should have been breaking down I fought harder....I still have the war wounds to show it....I need a cane at this point.  LOL! I am a runner and at this point their ain't no running.  Cut open toe on the right and sprained all toes on left and soar shoulder and back.  I feel physically that I went to battle with Satan in a boxing ring but emotionally and mentally was equipped by God with your outpouring of prayers.....the peace that I had and still carry can only come from the grace of God.  Hear my bold statement.....He still reigns......

 Here is Kolya and I after the news that Sash wanted to stay in Ukraine and although he said no we still went to Kyiv for his referral and clung to God and one another and laid our swords down and Sash's no still remained.  I am so incredibly proud of Kolya and all he endured, he did not buckle to the temptations of following all the mass chaos around us let alone orphanage life he could of easily tried to gain back again like he once had.  He stood firm fighting beside me.  God still reigns........

In the midst of mass chaos from the hi's and low's of battling for Sash, the boss that hired him that was a bad influence, the lies, the deceit, the drinking, the smoking, the squatty potty issues, the fighting amongst kids, the division amongst friends, the destruction, the bad train rides, fake train tickets, missing trains, being harassed for money on trains, being billed on food more then what was purchased or even ordered, cutting my toe open, spraining all my toes, attempted to be hit by one of Sash's friends on a moped, chasing Sash down a road, watching kids with families in route to them making horrible decisions without the guidance of a mother and father,  our friends being spiritually attacked that serve with the kids, our friends adopting hitting obstacles, the list goes on and on of all that took place in these last 3 weeks BUT God still reigns! 

 

Words cannot express the amount of support from all our friends all over the the world and their outpouring or prayer and support for the boys and us.  The outreaching to respond to write and even call Sash to help him in his decision was amazing....not short of it awesome.  Our Ukraine adoption team and local friends which I do not have all photos of them to help us and step up was amazing.  God placed each and everyone of these people in our path to help lift us up and continue the battle.   He still reigns......

Although I sit here feeling physically battered and abused and with great loss of the boys my spirit is un-broken for Christ, the orphans and the fight to bring them home.  These boys were never mine to begin with....actually none of our children are truly ours....they are God precious children that He is allowing us to bring up in His way and life for a certain time that He so richly blesses us with.  But in my heart they are still my boys, I do not need any documents to know that, Satan cannot have that.  God still reigns......

My mother asked me last night...."Well honey I guess this was not meant to be".  I told her I do believe it was not meant to be.....God lead my on the missions trip not by my doing, He lead me to Sash before I even was on that trip.  He lead me to Sash and the boys on that missions trip.  He lead me us to adopt Sash.  He then lead us to adopt Slavic and then Alex.  He orchestrated it all without us pushing.  Then why did they not come home....why did he allow Satan to win this battle?  That is for God to know and for us to be in His quiet peace and presence and learn from what all he wanted to show us and pull the good out of it and trust Him that he specifically lined everything up for His greater good because.... God reigns!  

When I sit here and look back at my life one obstacle after another....I think this

“Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the floor in the morning, Satan shudders and says “Oh crap, she’s awake!”"

With each loss in my life there is gain.......

  Sometimes I Want To Ask God Why He Allows Poverty, Famine & Injustice In The World

  … But I’m afraid He may ask me the same question.

This battle is not over....this is Gods battle for the orphans but He calls us to step up...He calls us to make a move......He calls us to get out of the pews and take a stand......He calls us to love him and THEM the orphans as He first loved us.....the point is He called US!  Not him, not her, not them over there....YOU!

Psalm 82:3-4

Give justice to the weak and the fatherless; maintain the right of the afflicted and the destitute. Rescue the weak and the needy; deliver them from the hand of the wicked.”

With all these losses in my marriage from miscarriages, false pregnancies, adoption losses of a boy we fostered here in the US, Sergiy in Ukraine and now the three boys...Satan is trying to get me to lay down my sword for the orphans.....NOT A BIG FAT WHOPPING CHANCE. 

The day we were in Kyiv and were suppose to be getting the referral for Sash my friend sent me this video.  This video made this battle all so worth it.  This video will be viewed in over 40 nations including Ukraine to advocate for the orphan for Orphan Sunday.  We have been so blessed to call most of these children in this video our friends and know their families personally and are incredibly dear friends of ours.  These children have all been brought home by ones willing to step up and not give up when Satan brings in the storms of despair and brokenness or throws obstacles in their way.  If you look closely in this video you may see a familiar face.....our Stopha.....He wanted to do this video in order to help encourage other families to step up and out into the unknown with no promises but just a faith in God that He ultimately will win this battle for the orphan.  Stopha watched the video with me today and high 5'd me after the video and said Mama more kids can come home to their families now.  Oh how we are praying so..... God is mighty, He is faithful, He is good and

 Oh how he reigns!

http://vimeo.com/72235614

And where does this lead me next.......let me introduce you to Andrei and then Anya they are praying for their forever families to come for them!!

Let Me Introduce You To Andrei! 
UPDATE:  8/27/13 A FAMILY HAS COMMITTED TO ADOPT HIM!  HEHA!

Andrei wanted to make sure he stood proud and tall in this photo so he could impress you all.  :)  

Andrei is 15 (just turned 15 in April) and an aging out teen.  He has already graduated from boarding school and will be attending trade school here in a month and learning to become a metal welder.  I am currently hoping and trying to get him into an aging out program because he wants to work but not go to trade school and so badly wants to be in a family.  I met him on our mission trip to Ukraine in April/March.  He was in my class.  He was a hard worker and you could see he was exceptionally bright, incredibly intelligent and respected the elders.  He knows some English too boot.  He was very bonded to Scott one our the guys on our mission team that Andrei met on a previous trip.  He would soak up the attention from the adult guys showing he so desperately wanted it.    When I first met Andrei in March/April and watched him in the course of our mission trip I saw that he has a competitive streak....very, more then I liked to see.   But I will say it is still there but in these months away from him that streak has decreased and a maturity I had not seen in him is now there.  He is competitive but a healthy competitive...he has nothing short of shocked me out of most the children I saw.  Some gained maturity and other lacked in it more. 

I noticed when I started talking to Andrei again when at the school we spent a lot of time together and I saw a sadness in him.  Then he finally came out and said "Nicole will you please help me find a family".  With his maturity and the changes I saw in him I was very much on board and God laid him heavy on my heart.  Then the weight was lifted from him when I told him I would fight tooth and nail for him.  He saw much of the battle with Sash and when we were at the creek when the kids were swimming and right before I went into a full speed run after Sash for another battle round Andrei yelled at me and said "Nicole I would never do to you what Sasha is doing".  I smiled, gave him a hug and took off running.  Shortly after my jog after Sash, Andrei, Kolya and I were playing soccer in the street.  I did one bad kick in my darn flip floppies and a chunk of my toe came off.  Literally....Andrei was faster then a lightening bolt rushed to my aid and as I was pouring water over my toe to get the gravel off he started taking tissues I had and wrapping my foot.  He did not stand back, think to act but was on it like a bad habit and then said "Nicole you know I would go home with you, if you would adopt me".  Oh how I was so confused and focused on the pain in my toe and the pain in my butt Sash and the battle ahead.  I could not see from top to bottom at that point.  But just register all the amazing things this boy was doing and how much he had changed for the better.  

I talked with friends that had asked me to advocate for him and they vouched how badly he wants a family and the positive changes in him.  Verse Sash knows his freedom is knocking at the door and desires it more then family, Andrei knows it is knocking at the door and wants to run the other way from it and into a family 

Andrei has a family but his family is supportive of adoption.  They want him to have a better life.  The truly mean this so much that Andrei's sister has already been adopted out to a family in Italy.  The know Andrei wants a family and is so hoping one will step up for him before it is too late.  

Ok so let me tell ya about this boy....

He is a goof ball of a kid but you ask him to do something and he is on it like a bad habit.  Where many of the kids will try to get out of it or ignore their elders.  If he is given a task he is on it like a bad habit.  If he is expected to be somewhere he will tell you he has to leave but will be back.  Again he has that competitive streak but it has tamed down to a level that is excellent with sports and he can easily be re-directed.  He is a VERY gifted athlete.  He is shorter then most his classmates but he can move and shake.  It did not matter if I was bringing out the soccer ball, football or baseball which none of the kids have played that boy could play with little to no effort and that more aggressive streak I had seen in him on the past trip was not there.  He just played.  

Here he is being dragged around by another Andrei while being tickled in the freezing cold creek.  But still waving to let me know he is still ok and moving!  Again he is an excellent student and extreamly intelligent.  He does not cause trouble and tries to stay on the outside of it or break it up verse being the cause of it.  If he sees someone in need he is on it like a bad habit.  His favorite sports are soccer, ping pong and volleyball.  He would like to learn more math, Russian history and biology.  Told you he was a smart young man!  He does not like Ukrainian, physics or geography so much.  He would like to learn to be a car mechanic.  He does smoke, not often but occasionally (most the kids at this school do).  He said if there was one thing he could change about himself he would not smoke or drink.  He believes in Jesus and would like to be in a family that also believes.   He listens to rap music which most kids in Ukraine do but he tries to listen to the music that does not have bad lyrics.  He likes the beat and looks for rap that is on the better side of what the message may be.  He likes to sing.  He said he isnt too crafy and hasnt really tried to learn how to draw.  

If he has 3 wishes he would wish for a family, learn more English and be a good person.  He likes horses, dogs of all sizes especially big ones and cats.  

If he could choose a family he would prefer to be the oldest but if not that is ok.  If he had a choice to be with friends or alone he said he would prefer to be with friends.  When I asked him would he prefer to be with friends, be outside, read or be on the computer he said a little of everything.  When asked if he would prefer to be a leader or follower he said leader.  Then I shouted to him across the creek what if you are not then what "He said OK".  He said he would love to have brothers.  He is ok with a sister(s) but would love brothers.  He said if he had a sister he would not know what to do with girl toys.  LOL!  

Again this young man respects authority, and the tasks given.  He never challenged me or any of the teachers which was a rare thing to see.  Here he is on the roof when our soccer ball got launched accidentally on the boarding school roof!  OOPS!  Guess who the first one to run up there and get it was!  Andrei! If you look closely at the photo he is on the roof with his arms open.  You can barely see him!

Can you help me PUSH this boy to his family!  He is ready and waiting before it is too late for him!  

 Meet Ms. Anya!

Second Chances….Meet Anya!

This is Anya she is asking for a second chance.   Anya has been hosted to America before and a family wanted to adopt her.  At the time Anya had a laundry list of expectations and demands on what she wanted from her forever family which was centered around friends and friends only no care of what a family could provide her with.....love, family, education, life skills, learning more about Christ, etc. 

Then she started watching her friends get adopted and saying “yes” and then they were gone.  Suddenly it hit her…..it really was not about just finding a family in North Carolina next to all her friends but about the love of a family.  Anya has searched out different adoptive families including myself, mission team members and mentors that I know to reach out to say she made a great mistake and is hoping for a second chance. 

She has been anxiously awaiting someone to hear her voice and change of heart.  When I saw her I told her I heard she has had a serious change of heart since I last saw her in March/April of this year.  She said yes and I told her then we need to talk.  Little does this young lady know many of my friends God has placed her specifically very heavily on their hearts.  Too many in that it cannot go un-noticed God has a plan for this young lady.  

Let me tell you about Anya….Anya is 14 years old and is the smallest little thing!  She is at the school with my boys we are adopting so I will be spending a lot of time with her and look forward to getting to know her more.  She has been at the boarding school for 7 years and she does have brothers and sisters but they have aged out and are on their own.  When I asked her if she recalls what happened or why she came to the boarding school she said her family did not want her and brought her there because she had speech issues.  She has an occasional stutter and you rarely hear it.  You can tell by talking to her she is a very bright and intelligent young lady and a spitfire if need to be.  I will say since I last saw her the spitfire has tamed way down and reality has hit….she wants a forever family and her laundry list had to go and she indeed let it go.

If I can give you a visual picture of me talking to her and if you can just go this road with me for a moment….when asking her things like if you could be like anyone who would you like to be like…..answer, I don’t know.  If you could change something about yourself what would it be……answer, don’t know.  Do you have a favorite singer?  Her response “do not have one”.  So talking to her was like pulling teeth out of a horses mouth with a pair of pliers.  Then it hit me……she has been so humbled by her laundry list and letting it go that she has truly set it all free and out the door.  Then I asked her Anya are you just wanting to do what your family wants to do and learn and experience what they want to.  Then the answer came “yes”.  She said “yes I just want to be with them and do whatever they want to do”.  I told her girl that is a good answer. 

Ok let me tell ya some things I did learn about Anya…….she likes a lot of different styles of music and would like to learn how to dance.  She really does not dig eating salads but she said she loves just about everything else.  She made sure I heard the word everything.  Not sure where the food goes on this girl, being so tiny!  She enjoys swimming, there is a creek right next to the school and the kids have fun swimming in it.  She likes to sew, make crafts and dance.  Anya is more on the quiet side and I like to refer to this as she is not all up in your grill/business.  When I asked her if she preferred quit times or a busy atmosphere she said she likes a little of both.  When asked if she would like to be with friends or alone she would prefer to be with friends.  She told me she does not care if she is a leader or a follower so she will not be fighting for the lead dog role.  And to follow that up which is really rare she even said she would prefer to be the youngest in a family if there was kids.  THIS IS RARE FOLKS!  She loves to be outside and have fun and would love to learn English.  She said she loves learning period and is excited to learn. When I asked her what is one thing she would like to learn to do her response was she wants to learn and do whatever her family is willing to do and teach her.  Open book folks!

Her wish is to have a family to love and treat her well.  So I reversed the question and asked her if you had a family would you treat them well too.  She said yes she would love and treat them well.  I asked her will you make demands on your family like you had done before when a family wanted to adopt you and her response was “no”.  Anya believes in Jesus and is praying for a second chance.  She is eager and awaiting a family to come for her and she is ready!  If you have any questions please let me know and I will do my best to answer them, again I will be with Anya for the next month while doing our adoption.  

Today 8/10/13 I asked Anya's friends (boys and girls) what could they tell me about her they all agreed and said the same thing.  That Anya is a good girl and helps others.  She is more on the quiet side but she does not smoke or drink like many others.  

Please help me push her far and wide!

 

The battle is not over......

Today just before leaving to the school to see the boys I felt I would be going right into the Lions Den with Sash and all matters that have been twisted in this young mans head to have him on the road to rebellion right after telling me mom I made mistake please come back for me.  I had been praying all morning and just staying in Gods word.   Did God leave me....not a chance but the time I had with Sasha was good and we covered many topics one of which was huge for me to express to him again and that he was worthy of love and to be loved.  What it means for me as a mom and my job as a mom and what that means for him.  He rubbed my arm kissed me cheek and told me several times I love you mum.  For that brief moment I had my son again.  As fast as he came back he left.  The gentleman that has been hiring him for work showed up then the crap hit the fan and all went down hill from there.  Everything we talked about including the choices he is making and leaving them behind when we left which he said he was happy to do....went of deaf's door.  Not only did what this gentleman that hired Sash and a couple other boys effect them but generations beyond.  I am not in my own turf but I will say I wanted to put out a can of whoop a$%.  I am sorry this is were the mother in me comes out like a bat out of hell to protect these children and my son.  At one point I am chasing my son down a dirt road to have a dude on a moped trying to hit me.  To cutting my toe open and having a boy named Andrei I will be writing about below bandaging me up saying Nicole I would not do all this to you.  Will you take me home instead.  Love this kid!  Today was like a bad soap opera with no freaking director.  I sit back and I feel like I am watching the movie Lord of the Flies.  Oh how I love each and every one of these kids personally but oh how I see Satan taking them down one by one little by little with his deception.  Their are fights amongst the ranks of these kids, division amongst their relationships.  We would see this at home but there is no mother or father to guide or direct them no supervision to direct them.  When there is a quarrel the supervision that is there, is for the little kids so heads are turned at the older kids they handle things on their own.  SO you can see why there is an independency.  They the older girls are like little Mama's,   So the older kids are supervising and managing the older kids.  My only defense with these kids is love of God and loving on them even when they have faulted, even badly.  We all have and we are all sinner and fall greatly short of the glory of God or Christ would have not died for our sins.  But even times like these I feel so defeated and the fight power I had gets exhausted by days end.  All I can and will do is love them all.  God in the midst of this mass chaos he still has my heart calm and I know it only can be Him as I watch Sash go backwards once again landsliding into the pressure of his freedom he will be leaving behind in which he is fighting against and back into the pressure of his girlfriend and their independancy and their adult lifestyle to what they know it to be.  Then of course the biggee him preparing for rejection that he will let me down and I will let go.   I have fought all the ways I know how for him.......I still here the words cross my mind...Love him home Nicole.  Sash knows I love him and I say it daily even in the midst of when he is upset or confused.  I even send messages to him on his cell phone telling him I love him.  It is clearly Satans work as I am watching kids fighting each other and kids not getting adopted fighting other kids getting adopted.  Drinking, smoking, lies, sneaking out........separation of friendships......running away.  Divide, divide, divide is all that Satan wants in this.  This is the thing this is the first school that most of the children are all Christians, they know Jesus because of two of my friends ministering into their lives on a regular basis.  So you can only imagine why Satan is not slumbering....an orphan and a Christian very few can saw that!

I ask for your prayer as I prepare to battle today ahead of me.  I know I am not alone.  I know Christ is with me and within me and He can handle this.  I pray for his wisdom and strength in this battle because now it is more then my Sash it is other children that are near and dear to my heart that I will fight for and love on as long as I got them in my presence.  As my friend wrote me last week she almost can feel the clashing of swords of the enemy's demons fighting at the gates of the school against the Angels of Christ for Sasha.  I agree but instead of feeling it and I also seeing it and it is more then Sasha.  I am powerless as one but God hears the prayers of the righteous and if it is in favor of him and His kingdom and His children He will answer the call.  Folks I am asking for prayer as I so need it as I sit here breaking out in tears because these children I love and adore them so much and it literally kills me to see all this mass destruction of their lives going on around me and the damage Satan is infusing into their lives and minds and corrupting them.  These kids no no better and they need to know they have us on their side the believers of Christ, ones that will love and step up for them.

Thank you each and everyone of you praying for our Sash and these children.  Today is my last day with him before (I may or may not see him, he is doing a lot of work and running with me chasing LOL) I am to go get his referral and I am praying for wisdom in what God is asking and calling me to do, to continue to battle or to lay down my sword and just love him from afar because he may not be able to handle family life and want to give up what freedom and life he has here (girlfriend).  God knows the answer to this, His is Sash's divine creator.   Praying for only Gods wisdom and strength alone. 

And again if any of you should feel called to leave a negative comment please remember Christ died for your sins as well.  If you would like please send me your address and I would be happy to meet you in person and give you a hug and tell you that God loves you and so do I.  You are worth the battle too! 

Meet Anya......She Is Asking For A Second Chance For A Family!

UPDATE** ANYA'S FOREVER FAMILY FOUND HER AS OF 9/2/13!!!!  
THANK YOU EVERYONE THAT HELPED PUSH HER FAR AND WIDE!!!
Second Chances….Meet Anya!

This is Anya she is asking for a second chance.   Anya has been hosted to America before and a family wanted to adopt her.  At the time Anya had a laundry list of expectations and demands on what she wanted from her forever family which was centered around friends and friends only no care of what a family could provide her with.....love, family, education, life skills, learning more about Christ, etc. 

Then she started watching her friends get adopted and saying “yes” and then they were gone.  Suddenly it hit her…..it really was not about just finding a family in North Carolina next to all her friends but about the love of a family.  Anya has searched out different adoptive families including myself, mission team members and mentors that I know to reach out to say she made a great mistake and is hoping for a second chance. 

She has been anxiously awaiting someone to hear her voice and change of heart.  When I saw her I told her I heard she has had a serious change of heart since I last saw her in March/April of this year.  She said yes and I told her then we need to talk.  Little does this young lady know many of my friends God has placed her specifically very heavily on their hearts.  Too many in that it cannot go un-noticed God has a plan for this young lady.  

Let me tell you about Anya….Anya is 14 years old and is the smallest little thing!  She is at the school with my boys we are adopting so I will be spending a lot of time with her and look forward to getting to know her more.  She has been at the boarding school for 7 years and she does have brothers and sisters but they have aged out and are on their own.  When I asked her if she recalls what happened or why she came to the boarding school she said her family did not want her and brought her there because she had speech issues.  She has an occasional stutter and you rarely hear it.  You can tell by talking to her she is a very bright and intelligent young lady and a spitfire if need to be.  I will say since I last saw her the spitfire has tamed way down and reality has hit….she wants a forever family and her laundry list had to go and she indeed let it go.

If I can give you a visual picture of me talking to her and if you can just go this road with me for a moment….when asking her things like if you could be like anyone who would you like to be like…..answer, I don’t know.  If you could change something about yourself what would it be……answer, don’t know.  Do you have a favorite singer?  Her response “do not have one”.  So talking to her was like pulling teeth out of a horses mouth with a pair of pliers.  Then it hit me……she has been so humbled by her laundry list and letting it go that she has truly set it all free and out the door.  Then I asked her Anya are you just wanting to do what your family wants to do and learn and experience what they want to.  Then the answer came “yes”.  She said “yes I just want to be with them and do whatever they want to do”.  I told her girl that is a good answer. 

Ok let me tell ya some things I did learn about Anya…….she likes a lot of different styles of music and would like to learn how to dance.  She really does not dig eating salads but she said she loves just about everything else.  She made sure I heard the word everything.  Not sure where the food goes on this girl, being so tiny!  She enjoys swimming, there is a creek right next to the school and the kids have fun swimming in it.  She likes to sew, make crafts and dance.  Anya is more on the quiet side and I like to refer to this as she is not all up in your grill/business.  When I asked her if she preferred quit times or a busy atmosphere she said she likes a little of both.  When asked if she would like to be with friends or alone she would prefer to be with friends.  She told me she does not care if she is a leader or a follower so she will not be fighting for the lead dog role.  And to follow that up which is really rare she even said she would prefer to be the youngest in a family if there was kids.  THIS IS RARE FOLKS!  She loves to be outside and have fun and would love to learn English.  She said she loves learning period and is excited to learn. When I asked her what is one thing she would like to learn to do her response was she wants to learn and do whatever her family is willing to do and teach her.  Open book folks!

Her wish is to have a family to love and treat her well.  So I reversed the question and asked her if you had a family would you treat them well too.  She said yes she would love and treat them well.  I asked her will you make demands on your family like you had done before when a family wanted to adopt you and her response was “no”.  Anya believes in Jesus and is praying for a second chance.  She is eager and awaiting a family to come for her and she is ready!  If you have any questions please let me know and I will do my best to answer them, again I will be with Anya for the next month while doing our adoption.  

Today 8/10/13 I asked Anya's friends (boys and girls) what could they tell me about her they all agreed and said the same thing.  That Anya is a good girl and helps others.  She is more on the quiet side but she does not smoke or drink like many others.  

Please help me push her far and wide! 

Here are some comments from people that know Anya personally:

She is kind and smiley, grateful, friendly. She has a sense of humor and she likes doing crafts. She wants to have a family. She is more introvert, but once she knows the person she is much more open and its easier for her to open herself.  She is a girl with a deep personality. She bares all her pains and troubles in her heart. I would say she is a very sensitive girl who needs love and care, some sense of humor would be great ice-breaker in relationship with her.  -Natalya (Missionary that lives in Ukraine)

Anya is a very sweet and kind girl, I remember she told me she loves doing drafts and reading. She is also very generous, during our mission trip the night we took Anya and a couple of other children to dinner I brought her a bag of sweets and she was very excited to share her sweets with her friends. She is also polite and respectful to her friends and adults. After hanging out and talking to Anya during the mission trip and the summer camp I noticed she picked up some English and I have no doubt she will learn more very quickly, she is smart. From the way Anya talked about her friends, caretakers and other people in her life I see her as a very caring and enthusiastic young lady. It was very easy for me to fall in love with Anya and I believe it wont be difficult at all for anyone who is interested in becoming her family.  -Varia (She was on a past missions trip that spent time with Anya)

Anya
Anya is a very sweet 13 year old girl. She is talkative, friendly, and always a good friend to
the others girls in the orphanage. Anya is quite small for her age with beautiful freckles on
her nose. Her teachers say that she is very calm and enjoys studying. Our team saw this
when she and a friend pulled out their English notebooks to study on our way to the beach
for a field trip.
Anya’s father passed away recently and her mother is unable to care for her. Although she
has lived in this orphanage for six years, she has only recently become a true orphan and
she is still adjusting to this change. Her mother has only been to visit her once this year but
they speak on the phone often. She has an eagerness to connect with her host father,
which seems to demonstrate her deep desire for an active and involved father in her life.
She has much healing ahead of her and she will need a family who is loving and patient.
Anya enjoys doing crafts and embroidery. Despite an initial hesitation for the field trip to the
beach, Anya really seemed to enjoy herself. She is a strong swimmer and was not afraid
of the waves. Anya has a playful spirit and a tender heart in family interactions. Anya has
proven to be a great big sister, also. She jumps right in to help with little shoes, push on
swings, and hold hands in a parking lot. Her care and concern for her host family’s
youngest children, even when she is with her friends, is striking. She has brushed teeth
and even humored their 4-year-old with a Russian fairytale at bedtime.
Anya has been on a food adventure so
far with the hosting program. Sometimes
she enjoys the results and sometimes she
does not, but she is willing to try. Waffles,
bacon, and fresh fruit are a favorite for
Sunday brunch with her host family. Any
could not recall if she had ever eaten
bacon. By the end of the meal, she had
downed about a half-a-pound! Salmon
and bratwursts have also been a big hit.
She is a meat and potatoes type of girl!
Her host family has seen that Anya, this
13-year-old girl from Ukraine, is not much
different from their own 13-year-old
daughter from the United States. They
struggle with similar insecurities and social
pressures. They both want to please their
teachers and hear that they have done
a good job. They are both trying to figure
out where they fit in this world that doesn’t
always seem to have room for them. So,
her host family gives Anya a hug before
bedtime and hopes that she understands
that they are so thankful for her!
It should be noted that we do not receive
any medical history on the children who
come to the United States for a hosting
program, as this information is confidential.
The commentary in this profile is based
solely on opinions of their host family and
others who have interacted with them
during their visit. All children from hard
places may have trauma, family history,
or medical issues that could have a
lifelong impact.  - Danielle Merritt-Sunseri (Anya's Previous Host Family)