And This One Matters......: January 2013

Friday, January 25, 2013

A Phlight For Sasha......Let Me Introduce You To Him!

Folks that no me know I am normally one to do blog posts to try to advocate for orphaned children that I personally have met because they are reached down to the depth of my heart and shouted I am ready to be home. After we lost Sergiy who we went to adopt last winter in Ukraine, he could not bare to leave his life behind in Ukraine and decided to stay. I knew in my heart we had lost him before we got there but we still went knowing God said "GO". After he said no, we returned once again for him to have him say no once more and not be able to leave behind his known life. For myself it was no different then my own child dying. No nice way to put it accept I was a freaking disaster and just wanted to lay in bed in my pj's and cry and paste myself to the sofa and not leave hoping this was all a dream and it would go away and we would bring Sergiy home. And I did exactly that. Even Joe could not un-glue me from the sofa. In the midst of this I promised New Horizons For Children I would do interviews in several orphanages before we left to Ukraine for Sergiy. So I removed my carcass off the sofa and vowed with Joe never to adopt in Ukraine again, never to adopt without hosting (although we had hosted Sergiy and I met him on a team trip), never to adopt period then as time progressed to never adopt a girl, never to adopt a girl from Ukraine and never to adopt special needs. HEHE! Ok why to I add that all in there.....because Gods plan and mine were very different. God showed me who is boss. I have a beautiful daughter from Ukraine who is a ray of sunshine and a bright light. I have a son with special needs who stole my heart at hello and well as you all know they are both from Ukraine. So God not only showed me once but twice after losing Sergiy. We can think all we want what we think we want but that might not always be what we get or what God knows is best for us. How do ya like them apples? OK so where am I going with all this jabber you ask?...............I know now why I was on that trip although Sergiy said no......it was for the Max's I have in the previous post.....for the Kolya's like my son.......for the boy I have pasted here. When I interviewed the kids for NHFC on that trip and literally trying to keep myself together right before I interviewed because Sergiy had just said no a second time, two children who are now adopted by our best friends now I met and interviewed. As they walked out of the interview Alex screamed "I want to go to America"! Well he is here, alive and well and with his family! PRAISE THE LORD! God glorified and his work done! Amen to that! Did I see that coming in the loss and pain I was soon to bare losing Sergiy. Not a chance. I met Max who asked me to find him a family. I still remember the look in that boys eyes he was my last interview before coming back to America minus one and I knew the trip had not been a wash and that I had to fight for the ones that had no voice to get the word out over here on the US side that wanted a family and were willing to trust and commit and let go of everything they knew to gamble a chance with a family into the unknown with the hope of a forever family of love and care and never being tossed to the wayside. So this leads me to my post here. I have not met this boy below but many of my friends have. Multiple friends have asked my friend Amy McCoy and I to push him. He has reached into the hearts very strongly of our friends that have traveled and have met him doing missions work in Ukraine. He has struck a cord and he wants to leave his past and have a future in a family with love and care. He is a Max and is ready to let go and hoping for something better on the other side. Max has a family right now on the move for him AMEN!!! Now Sasha is timing out and his time is near in November 2013 he will not longer be able to be adopted. Below is a post about Sasha from all the letters we have received about him from friends and even from him to our friends. Please take a look and lets bounce this young man and find his forever family! Time is short and we need to do a call to action before too late!

Please meet Sasha!

Sasha K.

Have you ever seen a more handsome face? But the amazing thing about Sasha is what is on the inside. He is a poet and deep thinker and longs for a family. I just know that God has one for him and it is my goal to share him with as many people as possible until his mama and daddy see him are are moved in their hearts to go and bring this precious, sweet boy home. What a tremendous blessing he will be to his family! All he wants is to belong and to love and be loved. Please read and share far and wide and help Sasha to come home. His very life depends on it. He is 15 and will age out of the orphanage system November 14, 2013. With no where to go. No skills or connections to help him find a job. And no family to help him become a man...

Sasha (in the red shirt) with other children, learning how to do "the wave", a break dance move.

From Tiffany, who participated in a mission trip to Sasha's orphanage last year:
He talked to us about really wanting a family. We call him Acrobat Sasha because he did several back flips off the playground equipment. During our last trip, he was quiet at first and stayed in the back. But he was always there. He opened up after a short while and then wanted to hold our hands and give us hugs. I've written to him several times and I've attached a letter I got back. He is in the first picture and his letter is on page two, he is a poet! He has been at the orphanage for seven years. It seems like everyone who goes there and meets him falls in love with him.
Letter to Tiffany from a caregiver at Sasha's orphanage:
Dear Tiff,
I`ve got your Package yesterday in the morning. All the boys were happy to get your letters and gifts! Thank you for the gift for me too, I liked it very much =)! I brought the boxes to boys and I plan to bring the socks next weekends for girls and boys.
The little Vova was so excited, that he even didn`t understand what`s happened, but a little later he came and jumped on me with a big smile. Can you imagine? I have NEVER seen him so happy =)!
I send you a picture where Sasha and Iliya were reading and discovering your letters/boxes with gifts

Sasha (in the green shirt) and Ilya opening their gifts mentioned in the letter above.

Letter to Tiffany from Sasha:
I`ve spent 7 years in orphanage. My Birthday is in November 14. I don`t have parents and I would like you to become my mother and I would like to have Iliya as my brother. If you want you can adopt us.

I love you as a bird loves heaven
I love you as sun loves Earth
I love you as you love me.

Your friend, Sasha K.

Would be an amazing son or what??? So much love to give but no family to give it to...

The following is from my friend Sabrina, who also participated on a mission trip to Sasha's orphanage:
I can tell you that several of our team members from our March trip fell in love with this kind and sweet young man. (He loves to do flips and is an excellent acrobat. There are several Sashas here so the orphanage friends and prayer warriors, we refer to him as "Sweet Acrobat Sasha"). Today I met up with another mission team I had served with on my first trip - I didn't know he knew them, but he was very happy to spend time with them. They also spoke volumes of good things about Sasha, confirming what I already knew and had heard from so many others. Adoptive families have also noticed this special kid and although they weren't able to bring him home with them, are praying and trying to find a family for him.

This summer we had the opportunity to talk to some of the orphanage workers and they tell us he is a VERY good boy. He wants to be adopted very badly and has been clear about letting his desire be known to others. I have been told by orphanage workers and those who minister at the orphanage regularly that for years he has been asking if there is a family for him ... if anyone knows of a family for him ... I have been told that he is truly an orphan - truly alone - with no siblings, family, relatives or visitors.

From what I have observed, he longs for attention and affection (loves hugs and melts when I give him a kiss on the forehead) but does not seek it out. He often stands off to the side, or is around - the younger ones and those more assertive about trying to get attention / affection are the first ones you will see - unless you step back and see this sweet boy watching ... wanting to be a part of things. When invited in, or when time is made to talk with him - he really enjoys it. He gives eye contact , smiles and has always been very respectful towards me.

He seeks out interaction and comes to visit when mission teams are there. He enjoys being around people and even when lessons are geared towards younger children he will often hang around ... to be close and loves when he is invited to help out. He is not at all clingy - just has a strong desire to connect.
From what I have observed, he is a very good leader - though more the quiet strong type - the kids look up to him and he is respected (not feared). He spends quite a bit of time with the younger kids - they look up to him as he is like a big brother to them. When he was sick and in the hospital they were concerned and would say how much they missed him.

Sasha seems to enjoy the responsibility of helping and is eager is please. He is a great acrobat, loves playing soccer, listening to music and is interested in cars (would like to draw / design cars one day).

What has gotten to my heart the most this trip is catching him watch us or another adoptive family - and seeing the longing that he has. Time is of the essence as he turned 16 in November (2013). Thank you for praying for Sasha and for sharing him as you are able.

Notice how he is holding someone's hand here. Melt my heart!
Sasha being a teen and having been rejected like all orphans he will need a consistent, firm and loving family that is equipped to help him deal with his emotional needs and loss. For more information about Sasha and his needs please inquire.

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Meet Max!

My cup overflowth right now as it is said but more with lifes obstacles and challenges the Lord has allowed our family to head into so our Armor is on to fight the good fight but in the midst of battle of all these overwhelming obstacles being presented I cannot still get this one boy out of my heart and mind to advocate for him. His name is Maxim and that I met on an interview trip last winter 2012. For him to be on the heart and brain daily in the midst of chaos around me I can only believe that the Lord has a mother and father set aside for him that this post needs to reach or get a push from others that read this to advocate so it gets bounced from one person to another until it meets it's destination to the family waiting to bring him home.

Let me tell you about Max because my mind and heart will not settle otherwise. God calls me to move I move or he will keep reminding me until I do so I gotta rock this or I wont sleep tonight. So therefore let me tell you about this awesome young man Max. I met Max in winter of 2012 at his boarding school (orphanage) while doing interviews for New Horizons For Children an orphan hosting program. He was the last boy for me to interview that evening. He sat down at the table with his elbows nicely aligned on the table and his hands folded together looking me dead straight in the eye. I had a translator there to help gap all the communication so I could hear him loud and clear and boy did I ever. I said "Hello there Max". He said hello. I told him who I was and why I was there he shook his head and said he knows who New Horizons For Children is. So that summed that up. (: I asked how he was doing and his reponse was "Please get me out of here, I hate it here". As he said it looking me in the eyes without a blink or a pause in his sentence it was clear he as dead serious. You could see his lip squiver as to hold back tears and his eyes started to well up but he sucked it up and wiped his eyes with his sweater sleeve but in this brave moment of voicing himself in front of me and the directors assitant and staff I saw a very mature young man speaking who knows what he wants and longs for in his heart and he was not going to hold nothing back and lay it all out for me like a business interview. It was voiced that the school had hoped he would be adopted and they joked about having tickets for him ready to go and were just waiting for someone to come get him. The staff told me EVERYDAY he comes into their office and asks if anyone has come for him yet. From other adoptive families and from Max I have been told he is pushed to the ground daily and made fun of. Max has a vision issue where one eye goes inward and he also walks with a tilt which makes him a massive target for others to tease him. From what I understand although I did not come out and ask him is that he believes in Jesus. One family that I know of that adopted from his school worked with the kids bullying him to help him back up. The adoptive mother gave him Bible verses and he would keep them in his pocket and when he would get bullied he would bring them out and read them and hang onto every word. Max told me during the interview he had been interviewed in the past to be part of the NHFC hosting program but no one ever selected him so he never made it to America. His wishes.... I am sure you could guess....he wanted to come to America and have a family. Everything about his wishes and dreams of course was family and America. Nothing more nothing less. He is a very good student and is very smart. He loves acting and has done performances and has won awards. So despite the pressure, abuse and teasing of others he clings to the things that brings him joy performing. From adoptive traveling families I have not heard one bad comment about this young man.

A year has past since I have met Max. I have advocated for him and had a family step forward then back down. Then had many people step up that know him and loved him and helped me push to advocate for him but still no one has stepped up to adopt him. Then I was off to Ukraine half this year and this boy still doesnt leave myself or my husbands brain to advocate for him. So I ask for YOUR help to advocate for this young man who is so eagerly awaiting a family to come for him. Hosting him is not an option at this time so someone would have to be willing to talk with me and/or other families that adopted from his school to learn about Max but I know this boy is ready to come home no question no doubt.

WANT TO SEE A VIDEO OF MAX AND READ MORE ABOUT HIM?
Have you seen this?
http://deti.zp.ua/eng/show_article.php?a_id=505036

He is also located on the Ukraine registry:
http://www.sirotstvy.net/ua/child_needs_family/9193.html

REECES RAINBOW HAS GRABBED MAX TO HELP FIND HIS FOREVER FAMILY!!!!! Please visit the link:
http://reecesrainbow.org/52520/max

Please let's help Max find his forever family!

What Does Nicole Mean By Advocating For Orphans?

So glad you asked! In Ukraine many hosting programs are shutting down. The reason being is boarding schools (orphanages) are being condensed the more the foster care system grows in Ukraine. This leaves the school Directors in fear of losing their jobs if they do not hold a specific number of children in their boarding school. Then the threat of shut down looms over their heads. The second reason is with hosting programs that means many children will find their forever families which means again the number of children falls under what is required for the school to remain open. It is a double edge sword. You have many Directors that want their children adopted but then they know if they loose their job they cannot support their family. It is not easy in Eastern Europe to find a job in a couple days. Especially with the current climate Ukraine is in with war at hand.

5 years ago Nicole started to notice the decline in hosting programs being allowed to continue to bring children over to America. With the adoption of their children, especially their 2 littles ones Nicole & Joe knew they did not have the allotted time needed to dedicate to volunteer with NHFC and not be able to give it their all like they had done in the past. They did not want to fail the NHFC team. So they resigned and Nicole went freelancing in Ukraine. On Gods timing, when she was able, wherever God lead and with the team God put together. On these trips Nicole, her son Kolya and/or the team would teach children English, teach them about Jesus, love on them and then fight for them. Meaning if a child or boarding school staff came to Nicole and said this child wanted a family Nicole would interview them and spend as much time with them as possible to get to know them personally. Nicole would do this in an effort to learn as much as possible to help advocate for the child in hopes their forever family would come forward. Nicole would learn the good and bad in an effort to be upfront and honest with a potential adoptive family.

Nicole is not an adoption agency, a hosting agency, nor a professional and she does not work for anyone accept God. She is a gal after God's heart and children, a stay at home Mama that has worked with teens for 20 years and this is her heart and passion.

Why Ukraine Nicole?

In Eastern Europe it is very different then America. In America if a child is in the foster care system they can remain with their family for care until they are 18 years old. In America there is opportunity for just about everyone even if it is working at McDonalds. You are not labeled as an "Orphan". In Eastern Europe an orphaned children is basically wearing a stamp his/her their forehead that says "Orphan". It is like a permanent tattoo that is with them for life and never washes off not only in their mind but to others. They are not wanted or welcomed in many cases. On a trip to Ukraine a sign was spotted that stated "No orphans allowed" that was posted up on the door of a store. At the age of 16 these children age out of their boarding schools and have a choice of trade school or the streets. Most of them have no family to turn to. So just imagine a 16 year old child left to their own with NO accountability. With the economic crises and war in Eastern Europe the children that have extended family like Grandpa, Grandma, a sister or a brother cannot afford to take in the child so they only visit. If the child should choose to go to trade school it generally consists of coal mining, hair dressing, etc. Even with that in school the kids again are accountable to themselves and if they do not hold up their grades they are on the streets. If they graduate they still are stamped "Orphaned". So should they apply for a job with many other folks they will be the ones tossed because of this label. So their chances of graduating trade school and then getting a job are slim to known unless they are one determined child. The trade school housing for the kids is old hospitals that are now used as dorms. If a child is not back to their dorm by 10PM they are locked out for the night and they will call the streets then bedroom. Many children have been noted to say that they are scared to be in the trade school dorms because of the violence, rap, prostitution, drugs and alcohol. One child was noted to say that he would find kids shooting up drugs in the hallway and passed out. He bought a gun illegally in order to be able to protect himself of the unknown there. Then you have the rebels that take the world on by themselves that either at this point in their life want to live independently and not report to anyone or just cannot handle the trade school life and want nothing to do with it. So they take the streets to make it. They generally fall into becoming thieves, go into prostitution or commit suicide in order to survive. No matter how you flip this coin the statistics are grim from these children. They are all survivors doing just that.......surviving.

There is such a significant need all over the world even in America. Joe and I were foster parents and have served with youth in the US for our entire marriage and Nicole prior to marriage. God steered Joe and Nicole on a different path when they were introduced to NHFC and adopted their first son, Kolya from Ukraine. God has continued to call them to Ukraine in an effort to reach the voiceless and give them a voice, hope and love. God calls each of us to a specific place, time and season to do His work as Christians. God has shifted their call to Ukraine.....for the time being. Again they go where God leads where ever it may be.

Meet The Dewberrys

The Dewberrys came together as a family after hosting their now 18 year old now son, Kolya from Ukraine during Christmas 2010 through an International hosting program called New Horizons For Children, Inc.

In the midst of hosting Kolya, Joe and Nicole felt the Lord was going to lead them through more then just hosting in Ukraine. Nicole and Joe was were blessed to work with NHFC as a volunteer Regional Directors in North Carolina for the orphan hosting program. Nicole realized that in time there seemed to be a decline to host children from Ukraine with all the politics that was abounding in Ukraine. So she felt a lead to break away from hosting and go where God leads to travel to Ukraine and be wide open to God to lead her to orphanages to met children that could no longer be hosted and advocate to find them forever families that were aging out. For the last 6 years Nicole has been traveling to Ukraine several times a year to teach English in orphanages, teach the children about Jesus, show them the love of Christ and advocate for true orphans that want a forever family. Nicole brings aid to the Ukraine military, visiting the military in the hospitals as well as meeting active duty and on the field military and serving with mission teams the local folks that remain in regions that are devastated by war with her oldest son Misha. The Dewberrrys children have returned with Nicole to Ukraine on many occasions to serve the people of their country.

Kids are Joe and Nicole's love and passion. Nicole has worked with teens for 22 years. Joe and Nicole together have done mission work with youth and have specifically worked with at-risk youth and in church youth ministry for 17 years. The Dewberrys arms are wide open to show the love they have for the lost and forgotten youth.

The Lord lead them back to Ukraine in 2012 to adopt Tania, 10 years old & Stopha who is 8 years old and are HIV+. In 2014 the Lord lead the Dewberrys back to Ukraine to adopt Bogdan 12 years old who is HIV+ and Angelica 19 years old and Kristjan 16 years old. Then in 2015 the Dewberry's returned for Vova 16 years old and Viktor 12 years old. None of the Dewberrys children would not be home without the prayers and the hands of feet of Christ of folks coming alongside their family to see their children home and also all the mission trips Nicole has been on.

Nicole and her children continue to return to Ukraine to do mission work advocating for orphans that want forever families, teaching them about Jesus, teaching them English as well as doing doing mission work with the military and regions of devastation by serving those left behind.

With the greater increase in adoptions which is amazing there is also a greater need for support for adopted children and their families. Nicole is now working with Hope Connection International holding classes and support groups to teach pre-adoption classes, connect families that have adopted within the US and abroad and work with families in crises to help prevent disruption.

Our family prayer is to go where God leads.

Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. - James 1:27

About This Blog

This blog is dedicated to our heart and soul, the orphans that cannot speak out of Eastern Europe. This blog is about our journey of the adoption of our children, the mission work we do in Eastern Europe, advocating for orphans and wherever God leads our family.

This blog is also about the trials and tribulations we have faced with hosting, adopting, missions work already and yet to come. The grace, mercies and restorations of our hearts and minds. The incredible friendships God has provided along the way. About our missions trips to Ukraine working with orphans. The blessings of when Nicole volunteered with New Horizons For Children as Regional Director. All our crazy stories & adventures we have had along the way here in America and in Ukraine. And oh how we have adventures and stories! This blog is a dedication to our Lord and Savior encompassing the one thing he treasures more then anything, His children.....the orphans.