And This One Matters......: I Am Defeated......

Monday, June 17, 2013

I Am Defeated......

Today as I sit here as it seems literally everything around me is breaking. So is my spirit in a sense. I have been down this adoption road and I know Satan is always at my heels especially when the countdown begins....42 34 days until we leave for these precious three boys that won my heart in Ukraine that are aging out teens.

I can reflect on all the things that went wrong and the stresses that occurred with each of our childrens adoptions. I can sit here and think about the families I have warned this will happen and watching it unfold in their lives as they fight to get back to the children they are called to adopt. I can sit here and know it all by heart and be as prepared as ever and yet today I am defeated. I called my husband Joe and I could hear it in his voice as well. Normally one of us is stronger then the other but this time we are both in the slump. I can sit here and KNOW....KNOW for a fact this is not too BIG for Christ to bring His orphans home and He has proven that to ME by bringing home our precious Tania and Stophie in a matter of months apart by the hands and feet of Christ stepping up to help our family. I sit here after leaving UNC hospital today to bring Tania and Stophie in for the HIV medical checks with the high possibility Stophie has kicked HIV in the butt and to the curb. Praying my Tania's body will show it who's boss. But results will soon come in the days ahead. We have fought a long battle for getting them stronger since they have been home. Then I think about the mission trip to Ukraine this past April/March and how it seemed almost impossible to imagine God would bring us at such a time with the kids HIV and all the tests that were happening and followed by a round of sickness and everything again breaking around us. I told God we have no funds and I am exhausted but you know I will go where you lead, Lord you want me in Ukraine pave a path and supply the funds and I will be on that trip and surely God did just that. Just like Tania and Stophies adoption we backed up and let God lead and He supplied the need.

Again I sit here seeing in these times of defeat and despair God arise to the occasion mighty and LARGE as ever and showing His light and glory through the giving of prayer, support, financial assistance from others. I am always so completely WOW'd and it only makes me fight harder for the children that have no voices when I take witness to this. It is hard to believe that this has been our family at times and we are not looking in on another family.

I think I just needed to write this post to sit here and basically hear myself talking/typing and know once again God cannot be confined to a box as He told me when we found the NHFC property for the special needs kiddos. I needed to write this to dust off the dirt and stand back up again. Satan is indeed at my heels as I am seeing everything breaking around me and I know he is after most families when they are doing the will of Christ seeking after the most dear and precious things to Christ, His orphans. I would like to say if I was a millionaire I would not be worrying. I could bring the boys home no problem, I could travel to Ukraine anytime and do missions work with the kids, I could pay for all these freaking things breaking LOL! But then I would not see Gods glory when He arises to the occasion and how the thought of it.....how I would never want to miss that. It is the most amazing thing to experience and take witness to. To feel the out pour of prayers and love for our children you have helped us bring home. It is like being on a stage and overlooking all the faces that helped us and realize this is SO INCREDIBLY BIG and bigger then I could imagine and even fathom. It is like a massive crowd singing praises to the Lord above only in harmonics and not instruments only voices. IT IS SO BIG......I cannot imagine replacing the blessings of seeing all this unfold in the middle of what feels like total disarray. As I sit here typing this I know is He asking me if my mustard seed is firmly rooted to take on these storms now and as I begin to root getting closer to those 42 34 days and short ~~$12,000.00~~ $9,083.61 to bring these 3 boys home will I falter and blow from the left and then to the right verse standing firm as He asks of us Christians. My response right now to God is......my seed is rooted firmly and I will not sway to the left or the right, in Christ alone I am and will not be defeated.

Folks the amount of prayers and emails coming in to encourage me when I had this low was absolutely amazing. When I wrote this I was sitting in the chair I am in now and just felt broken, tired, defeated and felt I could not get my head above water. As I was ending this post I was encouraged to sit back and reflect on all God has done by reading all that came to my heart as writing. But God knew I would need more in the next couple days to come. And that is when you all came around our family again with words of encouragement, prayers oh the prayers! Laughter and jokes which always helps me and keeps me going. I write this update because I want to thank you all for your prayers in this time. My spirit has been lifted and believe it or not Satan is taking a break from us. From the time I hit "send" on this post he has backed off us at a time we needed it most. Oh how I am thankful and I know God hears your prayers and our family felt them. Again this only assures me God has this and He has good plans ahead no matter the turnout. Always a storm before the victory that is rightfully Gods. He will be glorified and the glory will be in His name only.
Again our family thanks you! We are so deeply moved by the love and outpour from others. I know Satan is just snoring at this point but I am thankful for your continued prayers, support and laughter as we move to bring the boys home!

The Whole Armor of God Ephesians 6:10-18

A final word: Be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil. For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.

Therefore, put on every piece of God’s armor so you will be able to resist the enemy in the time of evil. Then after the battle you will still be standing firm. Stand your ground, putting on the belt of truth and the body armor of God’s righteousness. For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News so that you will be fully prepared.In addition to all of these, hold up the shield of faith to stop the fiery arrows of the devil.Put on salvation as your helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

Pray in the Spirit at all times and on every occasion. Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all believers everywhere.

Blessings for Obedience Deuteronomy 28:1-14

28 “If you fully obey the Lord your God and carefully keep all his commands that I am giving you today, the Lord your God will set you high above all the nations of the world. ²You will experience all these blessings if you obey the Lord your God:

³Your towns and your fields
    will be blessed.
⁴Your children and your crops
    will be blessed.
The offspring of your herds and flocks
    will be blessed.
⁵Your fruit baskets and breadboards
    will be blessed.
⁶Wherever you go and whatever you do,
    you will be blessed.

⁷“The Lord will conquer your enemies when they attack you. They will attack you from one direction, but they will scatter from you in seven!

⁸“The Lord will guarantee a blessing on everything you do and will fill your storehouses with grain. The Lord your God will bless you in the land he is giving you.
⁹“If you obey the commands of the Lord your God and walk in his ways, the Lord will establish you as his holy people as he swore he would do. ¹⁰Then all the nations of the world will see that you are a people claimed by the Lord, and they will stand in awe of you.
¹¹“The Lord will give you prosperity in the land he swore to your ancestors to give you, blessing you with many children, numerous livestock, and abundant crops. ¹²The Lord will send rain at the proper time from his rich treasury in the heavens and will bless all the work you do. You will lend to many nations, but you will never need to borrow from them. ¹³If you listen to these commands of the Lord your God that I am giving you today, and if you carefully obey them, the Lord will make you the head and not the tail, and you will always be on top and never at the bottom. ¹⁴You must not turn away from any of the commands I am giving you today, nor follow after other gods and worship them.

2 comments:

Melissa MacyJune 18, 2013 at 6:41 AM
WOW! YOU GO GIRL!
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LaraJune 20, 2013 at 7:05 PM
Praying that the Lord will send encouragement, comfort and provision right away!
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What Does Nicole Mean By Advocating For Orphans?

So glad you asked! In Ukraine many hosting programs are shutting down. The reason being is boarding schools (orphanages) are being condensed the more the foster care system grows in Ukraine. This leaves the school Directors in fear of losing their jobs if they do not hold a specific number of children in their boarding school. Then the threat of shut down looms over their heads. The second reason is with hosting programs that means many children will find their forever families which means again the number of children falls under what is required for the school to remain open. It is a double edge sword. You have many Directors that want their children adopted but then they know if they loose their job they cannot support their family. It is not easy in Eastern Europe to find a job in a couple days. Especially with the current climate Ukraine is in with war at hand.

5 years ago Nicole started to notice the decline in hosting programs being allowed to continue to bring children over to America. With the adoption of their children, especially their 2 littles ones Nicole & Joe knew they did not have the allotted time needed to dedicate to volunteer with NHFC and not be able to give it their all like they had done in the past. They did not want to fail the NHFC team. So they resigned and Nicole went freelancing in Ukraine. On Gods timing, when she was able, wherever God lead and with the team God put together. On these trips Nicole, her son Kolya and/or the team would teach children English, teach them about Jesus, love on them and then fight for them. Meaning if a child or boarding school staff came to Nicole and said this child wanted a family Nicole would interview them and spend as much time with them as possible to get to know them personally. Nicole would do this in an effort to learn as much as possible to help advocate for the child in hopes their forever family would come forward. Nicole would learn the good and bad in an effort to be upfront and honest with a potential adoptive family.

Nicole is not an adoption agency, a hosting agency, nor a professional and she does not work for anyone accept God. She is a gal after God's heart and children, a stay at home Mama that has worked with teens for 20 years and this is her heart and passion.

Why Ukraine Nicole?

In Eastern Europe it is very different then America. In America if a child is in the foster care system they can remain with their family for care until they are 18 years old. In America there is opportunity for just about everyone even if it is working at McDonalds. You are not labeled as an "Orphan". In Eastern Europe an orphaned children is basically wearing a stamp his/her their forehead that says "Orphan". It is like a permanent tattoo that is with them for life and never washes off not only in their mind but to others. They are not wanted or welcomed in many cases. On a trip to Ukraine a sign was spotted that stated "No orphans allowed" that was posted up on the door of a store. At the age of 16 these children age out of their boarding schools and have a choice of trade school or the streets. Most of them have no family to turn to. So just imagine a 16 year old child left to their own with NO accountability. With the economic crises and war in Eastern Europe the children that have extended family like Grandpa, Grandma, a sister or a brother cannot afford to take in the child so they only visit. If the child should choose to go to trade school it generally consists of coal mining, hair dressing, etc. Even with that in school the kids again are accountable to themselves and if they do not hold up their grades they are on the streets. If they graduate they still are stamped "Orphaned". So should they apply for a job with many other folks they will be the ones tossed because of this label. So their chances of graduating trade school and then getting a job are slim to known unless they are one determined child. The trade school housing for the kids is old hospitals that are now used as dorms. If a child is not back to their dorm by 10PM they are locked out for the night and they will call the streets then bedroom. Many children have been noted to say that they are scared to be in the trade school dorms because of the violence, rap, prostitution, drugs and alcohol. One child was noted to say that he would find kids shooting up drugs in the hallway and passed out. He bought a gun illegally in order to be able to protect himself of the unknown there. Then you have the rebels that take the world on by themselves that either at this point in their life want to live independently and not report to anyone or just cannot handle the trade school life and want nothing to do with it. So they take the streets to make it. They generally fall into becoming thieves, go into prostitution or commit suicide in order to survive. No matter how you flip this coin the statistics are grim from these children. They are all survivors doing just that.......surviving.

There is such a significant need all over the world even in America. Joe and I were foster parents and have served with youth in the US for our entire marriage and Nicole prior to marriage. God steered Joe and Nicole on a different path when they were introduced to NHFC and adopted their first son, Kolya from Ukraine. God has continued to call them to Ukraine in an effort to reach the voiceless and give them a voice, hope and love. God calls each of us to a specific place, time and season to do His work as Christians. God has shifted their call to Ukraine.....for the time being. Again they go where God leads where ever it may be.

Meet The Dewberrys

The Dewberrys came together as a family after hosting their now 18 year old now son, Kolya from Ukraine during Christmas 2010 through an International hosting program called New Horizons For Children, Inc.

In the midst of hosting Kolya, Joe and Nicole felt the Lord was going to lead them through more then just hosting in Ukraine. Nicole and Joe was were blessed to work with NHFC as a volunteer Regional Directors in North Carolina for the orphan hosting program. Nicole realized that in time there seemed to be a decline to host children from Ukraine with all the politics that was abounding in Ukraine. So she felt a lead to break away from hosting and go where God leads to travel to Ukraine and be wide open to God to lead her to orphanages to met children that could no longer be hosted and advocate to find them forever families that were aging out. For the last 6 years Nicole has been traveling to Ukraine several times a year to teach English in orphanages, teach the children about Jesus, show them the love of Christ and advocate for true orphans that want a forever family. Nicole brings aid to the Ukraine military, visiting the military in the hospitals as well as meeting active duty and on the field military and serving with mission teams the local folks that remain in regions that are devastated by war with her oldest son Misha. The Dewberrrys children have returned with Nicole to Ukraine on many occasions to serve the people of their country.

Kids are Joe and Nicole's love and passion. Nicole has worked with teens for 22 years. Joe and Nicole together have done mission work with youth and have specifically worked with at-risk youth and in church youth ministry for 17 years. The Dewberrys arms are wide open to show the love they have for the lost and forgotten youth.

The Lord lead them back to Ukraine in 2012 to adopt Tania, 10 years old & Stopha who is 8 years old and are HIV+. In 2014 the Lord lead the Dewberrys back to Ukraine to adopt Bogdan 12 years old who is HIV+ and Angelica 19 years old and Kristjan 16 years old. Then in 2015 the Dewberry's returned for Vova 16 years old and Viktor 12 years old. None of the Dewberrys children would not be home without the prayers and the hands of feet of Christ of folks coming alongside their family to see their children home and also all the mission trips Nicole has been on.

Nicole and her children continue to return to Ukraine to do mission work advocating for orphans that want forever families, teaching them about Jesus, teaching them English as well as doing doing mission work with the military and regions of devastation by serving those left behind.

With the greater increase in adoptions which is amazing there is also a greater need for support for adopted children and their families. Nicole is now working with Hope Connection International holding classes and support groups to teach pre-adoption classes, connect families that have adopted within the US and abroad and work with families in crises to help prevent disruption.

Our family prayer is to go where God leads.

Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. - James 1:27

About This Blog

This blog is dedicated to our heart and soul, the orphans that cannot speak out of Eastern Europe. This blog is about our journey of the adoption of our children, the mission work we do in Eastern Europe, advocating for orphans and wherever God leads our family.

This blog is also about the trials and tribulations we have faced with hosting, adopting, missions work already and yet to come. The grace, mercies and restorations of our hearts and minds. The incredible friendships God has provided along the way. About our missions trips to Ukraine working with orphans. The blessings of when Nicole volunteered with New Horizons For Children as Regional Director. All our crazy stories & adventures we have had along the way here in America and in Ukraine. And oh how we have adventures and stories! This blog is a dedication to our Lord and Savior encompassing the one thing he treasures more then anything, His children.....the orphans.