Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Do you still want me.......?

 Do you still want me were the first words that came from Scott when I was able to call him the other day.  It has been over a month since we have been able to talk.   I sit here reflecting on our call hanging on to every word and how awesome and emotional it was on both parts.  My tough as nails 15 year old young man that could say "no" to adoption and take on the world and freedoms as he knows it has chosen family.  He wanted to know if I would see him during the adoption and would I stay until I could bring him home.  My answer " OF COURSE"!  He said mum I love you, I wish I could give you a hug and a kiss.  He got to talk with Joe and Joe is already Papa (HEHA!!!)  the kids and Tania had a speal already almost like it was pre-rehersed in her head what to say to him like she was a programmed wind up toy but grinning ear to ear.  You could hear him laugh and speak back with her saying thank you in his calm even keeled voice.  Then he said "Mum I am ready for you to come for me".  I told him I am ready to come for you as well and it's just a matter of a few weeks and I will be there before you know it.  Then of course the Mum in me asked about his girlfriend and I asked are you sure you are ready to leave this all behind including her.  He responded with I want to be with her but I want family so much more and I am ready.  When in Ukraine with him in March and April him and I talked in depth of his life as he knows it, will be, girlfriend, our loss of Sergiy and not wanting to go through that again and this boy processed it all and thought it out and still has stayed committed to family even after his Crimean spring break with all his friends, girlfriend and freedoms he just returned from last week where all these freedoms should be fresh in his head.  I knew if he could make it through that we were in the home stretch.  So to hear he is ready and ask if I still want him oh how my heart melted for this young man going back to 8 years old when his mother discarded him and I could tell all those insecurities for that brief moment came back flowing into his mind.  God is good but as we talked you could hear the security of me coming for him flooded his mind.  I told him now don't you going running away on me because you know I'll chase you.  I ain't letting you get away.  He laughed and said " I know Mum".  He knows I mean what I say and he knows I would fight kick and scratch for him.  I hate that he lost his birth mother but I thank her for giving birth to him so that I will have the privilege to call him my son very soon.  I told him in this time apart if you don't hear from me don't freak LOL know I am coming at God speed for ya.  I asked how Sebastian was doing being they are buddies and he said they are now bunking together in the same room and that he is ready to come home to America and home with his family.  Although Sebastian and Scott wanted us to adopt them both they do not know yet we are the actual family adopting him unless the beans have been spilled that I am not aware of it.  All Sebastian knows is a family is coming for him but by talking with Scott I am sure they are putting the pieces together.   I asked Scott is he still running away and he said no that he knows a family is coming for him so he is staying put.  I told him good keep him there and duck tape him down if he tries to run.  He laughed and said Mum he is not running anymore now he's ready to come home.  Whew wee.  Oh how I miss those boys!  I cannot wait to hug each of them and oh how I adore them.  I told Scott how incredibly brave and proud I am of him to make this decision to choose family over what he could have chosen.  He thanked me.  I told him I am proud of him graduating and how handsome he looked!  He giggled.  I said dude you let the mullet go!  That is huge!  I told him how proud I am of him because he choose a mum to love him and chew him out too!  LOL!  He choose rules and boundaries which he is aware of and still wanted family.  He choose SCHOOL although he graduated and could leave that behind.  He chose family over a girlfriend.  He gave up freedom technically all for the sake of his strong desire for family.  Man this is one proud Mama with this caliber of a child.  Been working with kids like Scott for 20 years and this is eye opening and life changing for me to see and unfold in front of me most could not commit in his shoes.  I was told by his social worker he has a strong desire for love and family and has always wanted a Mama.  She had my boy pinned well.  

Joe and I discussed his name and what he would want it to be and our thoughts if he was OK with it.  We told him we would love for him to keep his given Ukrainian birth name like all our children (obviosuly it is not Scott LOL) but if Joe and I were able to have a son (can't I am spayed so it ain't happening) his name was going to be Brodie Scott Dewberry.  So we asked him if he would take Brodie as his middle name and when I told him this was our desire to name our son this he started to tear up on the phone and said "Daah Mama Daah" followed by thank you this means so much to me.   So I am sure you can guess that Scott should Sebastian want that name, we will ask him if he wants to take that as his middle name.   Steven we will be scanning the Bible for man that was after God's heart and determined for follow him and did not falter.  I am still researching this one.  (:

I sit here and think of my children and soon to be children and all these amazing qualities that God can use for His greater purpose my Kolya......his is joy and motivation.....Stopha is seeing the needs of others and giving of himself........Tania is my compassionate one.....Scott is heart and soul......Sebastian is a strong tower and beacon of light......Steven is steadfast and determined to fight for what is right.  Incredible traits each of these children I pray to soon all be in our family have.  They are each so amazing and I would be so blessed and honored to all call my children. 

Folks we are almost there!  19 days to go to get back to the boys!  Thank you everyone that has been in prayer for me holding up, my boys and support.  We are only $5K short to be funded!  We could not have made it this far this fast without you! Thank you!

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