Tuesday, August 6, 2013

Feeling The Peace Of Christ....And Christ Alone

As I sat with my boy yesterday in a quiet place with Kolya and showed him all the letters written to him specifically and you could see the wheels turning.  He said he enjoyed the letters and they are making him think.  He knew I had said he knew I said people were praying for him but he said the reality of it when seeing them in hand hit home with him.  I was not joking, rare occasion but I was not.  There are so many details Sash has shared with me that I told Sash I would not share and keep between ourselves but we have gone deep in conversation about it and his future.  But I will say this Satan has made his stake to keep this boy away from the love of a family and coming home with us.  Satan has twisted in lies and deception and has just tried to mangle this whole adoption.  Clearly when 2 of my boys are suddenly on the fence about adoption and 1 in the hospital right before I arrive.  I have been praying the truth on everything Sash has told me and what I have seen would surface and God is slowly peeling away one layer of lies at a time away.  I told Sash there are people that want to call him and him being a goof ball like me said "Mum did you put my cell number up on the internet for people to call me" laughing and I said no but I can if you would like.  I can hook you up.  We both laughed.  So although he has said he will stay in Ukraine for reasons that may not be the truth God settles my heart to tell me it is not over.  I am at complete peace and it is clear it is only from Christ and Christ alone.  Even right now with his answer being know would I risk knowing what I know now to come back for him.  HELL YA!  This boy is my son, I don't need any stinking documents to make that official it is in my heart.  God never guarenteed seeking his orphans would be easy.  He never said they would all say yes to adoption.  But he did not ask us to care for his orphans he commanded it.  You dont have to adopt but God does require we LOVE, love one another.  Seek his orphans no matter your specific calling to them.  This girl ain't sitting on her butt and melting away with another rejection hit after the loss of a young man we were going to adopt in the US 7 years ago and Sergiy 2 years ago and now Sash.  If anything I am in fight mode for these children to continue to fight and seek out the ones that want a family and fight on their behalf to bring them home.  Satan will not win this battle my battle gear is on and I know God is in front of me, beside me and behind me. God will prevail.  This is His battle for these childrens souls.  These are Gods children and His word does not go void in their hearts and minds.  Does all this mean  Sash will come home with me and change his mind while I am here, I don't know.  Does it mean I will be his Mama across the oceans absolutely,  Does it mean he may change his mind after leaving, he could.  I even said tomorrow after you say no will you regret it and his head went down and he said I dont know.  Would I return for him, YES if time permits with his birthday.  Call me gulable but I am not I just know God has plans for my boy no matter where he will land.  Will we bring him over on a visa later?  God could open that door and we would do it.  I just know with all that lead me to this boy, with my time with him here and him not leaving my side and loving with open arms and all the prayers around him and people who care for him and just his character God is not done with him and our relationship.  This boy is a natural Dewberry, messed up in the head with issues and a great sense of humor and stubborn as hell.  You would think I delivered him myself.  LOL! 

This picture posted he looked at it and kept opening it bigger looking at me in the photo and then him on my iphone and said Mum we love each other and you can see it.  I told him son you know it.  Nothing.....nothing will change my love for you even if you stay. We held hands walking around the campus most of our time there before heading to Kiev and he was on the verge of saying yes and then Satan swooped in.  I told him we need to pray and I am not going to pray you say yes I am going to pray God gives you clarity and guides your life, He knows what is best for you and what is ahead of you.  I told him when you love something sometimes you have to let go and let God and I am doing that with him because I know I have done everything I can to change his mind and all I care is that he knows I love him.  I asked does he know that and he started to cry and said yes mum.   We prayed he cried and I held him and he looked me in the eyes for the first time verse in the middle of a hug and said "I love you Mum".  

There is so much that has occurred in my time here that has been shared with me from my other boys to other kids that the pressure is on all three of my boys that were happily ready to come home before my arrival.  Threats, lies, deceit has been made to them to sway their minds.  Temptations have been laid before them to change their mind.  And they have been great and we know this is Satan working on them.  But I know my God is bigger.  I rest in that.  There again is much that has happened and Sash and I have had to go deep in talking which he knows I will be real with him and again the main thing is he knows I know all the real reasons he is saying no and they are all reasons that Satan would hold him back in his attempt to keep him here.  My best defense is loving my boy, my best defense it praying without ceasing and I am doing just that.  God has this and never hasn't and I find peace in this.  God has paved this path before me and I have seen to much of His work to question anything.  

So I say thank you for all of you that have been praying for my boys and especially Sash.  Thank you for the out pour of love for my family and my boys.    They and we are feeling it.  Please do not cease, God hears you!  I feel the prayers and I know my boys do to.  My Tall Sasha whom we will now be calling Alex (Alexandr) is feeling him I am watching this boys walls come down and open up and it is a beautiful thing to witness him trust and allow me to love him as a mother.  It is incredible.  He is now returning from the hospital back to the school and please pray again for his safety from all Satan's work he is trying to do in the boys. 

Where are we are and what is the prayer.....for God to make everything clear and the truth surface for Sash so those glasses of deception Satan has put on him will be removed and he will be protected from anything to distract him for feeling and taking in the love I have to give him.  For Slavic and that he finds peace in the adoption and all the fears others have put in his mind go away and that he brings back that trust he had with me before.  For Alex and his safety as we move forward that he is protected by anything Satan may through at his that is deceptive.  In the midst of all this deception and mess I am seeing God lay out each stone perfectly in that the time alone I have been able to have with each boy.  So fitting for their personalities and to an extent safety.  So I see the war at the battle gates for these boys.  How is Kolya is in all?  Kolya is holding strong, he is hurting because Sash was suppose to be his brother and he loves him.  He and Sash have talked and cried together.  These boys have a strong bond.  But again Kolya and I are clinging to God and not ceasing our prayers.  

If you can't say something nice then don't say it at all as my Mama would say.  There is always a party pooper in the crowd!  I have had a couple comments like you maybe should leave these aging out orphans alone and let them be.  Here is a list of failed adoptions of older teens.  Let them stay in Ukraine and stop fighting for them.  These folks obviously do not know me nor have read my history they are just doing random writings to express themselves.  This is my response I am happy your take such concern for my family but my answer is will I stop.....NO!  It's that simple.  So you can write me all your want stating your statements and again I totally love that you care that much about my family to show me the negativity in my gestures and decisions but were good!  So please do not waste your time writing me.  Been working with teens for 20 years as a mentor, foster parent, adoptive mother and I just don't see God changing this calling in my life and we are content to serve our great God with older teens.  :) 
Now on the move once more.......like I said I got my battle boots on here.  There is a young lady I want to introduce you to, Anya.  You may seen her already being advocated for all over the internet many of my friends have met her on mission trips here, when she visited the US and/or when adopting their children.  This girl is ready for a family.  She said "no" to a family that wanted to adopt her but now.....she has great regrets and was willing to search me out and ask for help.  She is reaching far and wide to my friends in hopes she will be given that second chance.
Second Chances….Meet Anya!

This is Anya she is asking for a second chance.   Anya has been hosted to America before and a family wanted to adopt her.  At the time Anya had a laundry list of expectations and demands on what she wanted from her forever family which was centered around friends and friends only no care of what a family could provide her with.....love, family, education, life skills, learning more about Christ, etc. 

Then she started watching her friends get adopted and saying “yes” and then they were gone.  Suddenly it hit her…..it really was not about just finding a family in North Carolina next to all her friends but about the love of a family.  Anya has searched out different adoptive families including myself, mission team members and mentors that I know to reach out to say she made a great mistake and is hoping for a second chance. 

She has been anxiously awaiting someone to hear her voice and change of heart.  When I saw her I told her I heard she has had a serious change of heart since I last saw her in March/April of this year.  She said yes and I told her then we need to talk.  Little does this young lady know many of my friends God has placed her specifically very heavily on their hearts.  Too many in that it cannot go un-noticed God has a plan for this young lady.  

Let me tell you about Anya….Anya is 14 years old and is the smallest little thing!  She is at the school with my boys we are adopting so I will be spending a lot of time with her and look forward to getting to know her more.  She has been at the boarding school for 7 years and she does have brothers and sisters but they have aged out and are on their own.  When I asked her if she recalls what happened or why she came to the boarding school she said her family did not want her and brought her there because she had speech issues.  She has an occasional stutter and you rarely hear it.  You can tell by talking to her she is a very bright and intelligent young lady and a spitfire if need to be.  I will say since I last saw her the spitfire has tamed way down and reality has hit….she wants a forever family and her laundry list had to go and she indeed let it go.

If I can give you a visual picture of me talking to her and if you can just go this road with me for a moment….when asking her things like if you could be like anyone who would you like to be like…..answer, I don’t know.  If you could change something about yourself what would it be……answer, don’t know.  Do you have a favorite singer?  Her response “do not have one”.  So talking to her was like pulling teeth out of a horses mouth with a pair of pliers.  Then it hit me……she has been so humbled by her laundry list and letting it go that she has truly set it all free and out the door.  Then I asked her Anya are you just wanting to do what your family wants to do and learn and experience what they want to.  Then the answer came “yes”.  She said “yes I just want to be with them and do whatever they want to do”.  I told her girl that is a good answer. 

Ok let me tell ya some things I did learn about Anya…….she likes a lot of different styles of music and would like to learn how to dance.  She really does not dig eating salads but she said she loves just about everything else.  She made sure I heard the word everything.  Not sure where the food goes on this girl, being so tiny!  She enjoys swimming, there is a creek right next to the school and the kids have fun swimming in it.  She likes to sew, make crafts and dance.  Anya is more on the quiet side and I like to refer to this as she is not all up in your grill/business.  When I asked her if she preferred quit times or a busy atmosphere she said she likes a little of both.  When asked if she would like to be with friends or alone she would prefer to be with friends.  She told me she does not care if she is a leader or a follower so she will not be fighting for the lead dog role.  And to follow that up which is really rare she even said she would prefer to be the youngest in a family if there was kids.  THIS IS RARE FOLKS!  She loves to be outside and have fun and would love to learn English.  She said she loves learning period and is excited to learn. When I asked her what is one thing she would like to learn to do her response was she wants to learn and do whatever her family is willing to do and teach her.  Open book folks!

Her wish is to have a family to love and treat her well.  So I reversed the question and asked her if you had a family would you treat them well too.  She said yes she would love and treat them well.  I asked her will you make demands on your family like you had done before when a family wanted to adopt you and her response was “no”.  Anya believes in Jesus and is praying for a second chance.  She is eager and awaiting a family to come for her and she is ready!  If you have any questions please let me know and I will do my best to answer them, again I will be with Anya for the next month while doing our adoption.  

1 comment:

  1. Oh, how my heart aches while I read this blog. With tears running down my face, I can't fathom what YOUR heart must be feeling. My prayers for you and the boys will continue. God can make a way where there seems to be no way. Thank you for sharing your journey, good and bad, with all of us. As we seek out OUR calling in the adoption of an older child, it is so important to know that the road can be long and hard and not all roses and sunshine. Please continue to keep us posted and know that there are many that Have not and WILL NOT stop praying for you!!! May God continue to bless you and your family as you follow HIS leading. I don't know how anyone could try to dissuade you from what you do. Your heart for these children is so evident and it is clearly God's heart IN you!! Thank you!!