Thursday, August 22, 2013

In The Trenches.......

Today as I sit my husband would put it "I am on fire".  Not literally but on fire for Christ.  After leaving what seemed like a war zone I should of been rejoicing to come home and be happy to be in the comforts of my home and life here but it is actually to the contrary it is the opposite just like everytime I leave Ukraine.  I am thankful to be home to my family only but oh how I long to go back into the trenches to fight for the orphan on Gods behalf.  If God asked me now to drop everything and told me He wants us to move across the oceans to serve with His children would question, YES.  I would have everything packed and ready to go in minutes.  Are their comforts I need here....nope but do I need an occasional supply of parasite cleanse.  Oh yes! But I reflect on the verse "Look at the birds", said Jesus.  "Do they store up food in the barn?  No.  God feeds them".  "Look at the flowers", said Jesus.  "They don't need work or make clothes.  God dresses them in lush pretty leaves and petals".  Jesus said we are much more important then the birds or the flowers and He said don't worry.  If he can take care of the birds and flowers then he can surely take care of you. 

I have had some of those emails come in where they state I am trying to adopt an almost adult and trying to take them from their home and their life they want.  Let me explain I do not twist their arms....obviously or I would have brought Slavic home.  These boys 7 days before I took off I talked to them and they were ready and waiting for me to come for them.  Sure there are some kids that want to stay and I can spot them a mile away and there is nothing wrong with that and I am not one to push them otherwise.  These children although they do not have say in what their birth parents do with them they do have a voice and say if they wanted to be adopted should a family show for them.  But moreso the important part in all this is the kids voices that are not heard that want a family because if no one is there to hear them they never make it into a forever family and they wilt away loose hope and break and their future....death, drugs, alcohol, addictions, prostitution.  So email adoption haters are you asking me to lay down my sword for them and to turn away on the ones that want a family.  This is my answer "hell no".  Let me make it loud and clear a big fat "HELL NO".  

See this young man.....this is my son Kolya...we adopted him as a teenager.  He had a one heard him....he wanted a family more then breathing.  When the New Horizons Team would come to interview kids for hosting he never was brought into the program but always in the back of the room watching and smiling.  LeAnn the founder finally asked about him after seeing him over and over each hosting interview trip and again just standing there in the distance and well now he is my son.  Someone saw him, asked about him and took a chance on him and now he is my TEENAGE son and he travels to Ukraine with me doing missions work.  Was he worth it? Was he worth the battle?  DARN RIGHT!  So folks out there that love to bash people for adopting older teens or children with special needs I love ya all and you are so awesome to take the time to write all us families and explain your concern for us.  That is mighty white of you to care so much about us....but this is the thing....God cares about you....he cares about you so much he allowed you to come into this world.  He loves you and also knows every hair on your head.  When you are saying things to other people that hurts the core of Gods heart HE STILL LOVES YOU.  He is your divine creator.  I know you have hurts in your life that fuels you to write other people and express your opinion and anger but God can heal that too all you have to do is ask.  So I just want to let you know you can write me anytime and I would be happy to share my testimony with you of the errors of my choices that I had control over and some not and my passion to serve my great God.  You may write me to make me sad, discourage me or make me angry but that ain't happening I will only pray and love you more like my Sash.  I chased him down that long dirt road and I would do the same for you.  Maybe it is you the ones that discourage others to answer the call to adopt or serve the orphan that needs to lay down your sword because I know this battle is not with you but with Satan that is why I love YOU. 

Let me show you some photos of some children......some of these children have been heard they want family and to live in a home with their family but their family will not provide and care for them so they are STUCK in the orphanage and their parents hold the control over them.  They are told they cannot go to another family while they wilt away in the boarding school praying for something better.  Some of these children they have a parent in prison or missing so they cannot have parental right revoked,  it could be written off by a judge but no one has the kahuna's to sign them off to be free and the child wants a family but is STUCK!  Some are children that want to remain in Ukraine in the orphanage but God still calls me to go love them and so I do.  Some are children legally free and only hoping someone will see their face and hear their voice to help find them a family.....some are just neighborhood village kids that spent time with me and Kolya that we just loved on.  These are all Gods children....these are all the future generation of children....they are loved and they are wanted by Christ.  He wants their hearts and I will be a messenger for Christ to make sure these kids know they are loved orphaned or not.  Ukraine, in the US or abroad.  Fact remains we are called out into the world as Christians to serve the orphans and the widows and if you sit back and do nothing then nothing will be done.  God calls us to be the messengers.  He calls us to be the voices for the unheard.  If you look at the title of my blog in which I started after losing Sergiy over two years ago it is called "And this one matters".  Even if it is only one child that is heard, one child that is matters to Him and it matters to me.  I would go to the ends of the earth for these kids if that is what God called me to do.  I would for you as well.  So this post is a post for all the ones that are bitter by my actions and actions of others to move to the call to serve, love, foster, adopt the orphan but also to make my stance clear I serve God, I serve and love the orphan, the at-risk youth and I surely loves teens and special needs children as I have 2 special needs children I am blessed to call my children and a teen young man...I would bring many more home if God called.  Been serving with them for 20 years and I just don't see that changing anytime soon.  Again if you would like to write me all the hate mail or discouraging emails please go ahead I am happy to love you, happy to respond and happy you would take the time to write me about your concerns.  You are precious to God too! 
 Our Tania whom is HIV positive and someone fought on her behalf to be heard she wanted a family and her buddy Alona adopted from Ukraine.  Alona had a voice and someone heard her and fought on her behalf to bring her home. 
 These three beautiful girls are STUCK.  The first one my friend is adopting but she is stuck in the system of becoming legally free.  Marina the one in the middle I advocated for only she had a voice, wanted a family and her parents are MIA and she cannot be legally free unless signed off on.  No one will touch her case.  SHE IS STUCK!  Little Christina....oh how little Christina longs to be with her family...a family...she has one but they visit her occasionally but will not allow her to have what she rightly desires a full time family to love, protect and care for her as every child should have and God intended.  Is this Gods fault NO....He gave us all free will its our choice on basically everything your life presents you and what you do with it and how you handle it.  He gave us the instruction to follow the Bible.  Some choose to live by it, others ignore it others take some from it that they seem fit for their lifestyle.  God calls us to take all or nothing.  But again it is our choice.....
 This is Andrei he has a voice and he hunted me down and asked me to be his voice to find him a family.   You think I am going to turn away from that....HELL NO!  To read more about Andrei's story please visit:
This is Anya.....she had a family come to adopt her....she said no because she has a laundry list of demands.....after time she realized like many she mad a horrible mistake and came asking many of my friends if she could have a second chance.  Once I arrived she came to me and asked me to help her have a voice so that her forever family will find her.  Her laundry list hit the ground and withered away and she wants family more then anything.  She like us, all sinners asked for a second chance.  God sent his son to die on the cross for us to DIE for US...the ultimate sacrifice.....should I walk away from her because she made a mistake and is asking for a second chance.  HELL NO!  God never walked away from us.....He came to us.....and is still standing their waiting on us.....
To read more about Anya and people that know her please visit:
 This is our Sash whom chose to stay in Ukraine, his friend Slava that lives in the local village we loved spending time with, Iliya whom is being adopted and my Kolya and Alex.  They all have voices whether it be to be adopted or not accept Slava being a local kid but one fact is true and real....they all wanted and needed to be loved family or no family.  That boy Slava although he has a family of his own greeted me everyday with a hug and grin and arms opened wide to see me until the day I left.  Love that kid!
 They all deserve love...or to be heard even if it is just a "hey what's up"......someone taking the time to acknowledge them.  The one to the left in the above photos yes he wants to be heard he wants a family! But someone needs to hear his voice.
 Slava and Kolya just being boys jumping into the creek.  God calls us to be a light and reflection of him and to love one another.  If that was what our trip was for although we did not come home with our boys then so be it.  Would I do the trip all over again knowing the outcome....TOTALLY! 
 Slava taking another boy into the creek!  :)
 He had a voice and he spoke loud and clear to me and others on the mission team and now he is coming home.  He matters!
 The one in the badly wants a family along with his older brother....will you be the one to hear his voice and advocate for him.....someone needs to hear them!?
 Sash showing his awesome side playing and loving on the kids.
 Even the dogs matter.....she was a doll....I have taught my kids big or small child, teen, adult, grandpa, grandma....they all matter. 
These boys both matter.  Andrei on the left STUCK!  He wants a family, parental right revoked but mom still has control over his decision mentally and has told him a big fat no and so he listens but stays in a boarding school with maybe an occasional visit.  I even had a family willing to cross the oceans for him and his brothers to adopt them.  STUCK!  The boy in the middle also Andrei....he and his brother so desperately want a family.  But someone would need to step up.  None of these kids ask for this.  They are left with decisions and pain beyond what they should bare but someone has to step up to love them whether it be there or from afar, pray for them, hear them, advocate for them, minister into their lives, adoption, foster care....whatever God is calling you to do.  I am sure he is not saying hey they don't matter just ignore the need whatever it may be, turn your head because it hurts you too much to look at their faces.  Again God calls us to do something other then sit in pews and judge people or write letters criticizing the moves of the righteous or willing.  Until we can wear white we have no business judging or speaking bad about anyone.  I do not believe any one of us will be wearing white accept Christ. 
    Yes I am far from wanting to be a ganst'a...or even listening to rap but I will say this I am blessed with three kids we went into the trenches for and they were so incredibly worth it.  Kolya and Tania were hell on wheels and extremely difficult and now I look at them and see had I given up on them I would have never known what God could do in their lives....God never gave up on us so we have no right to give up on the orphans, the widows the ones truly in need.  My boys may be across the seas and staying in Ukraine that did not choose adoption but they will always know that they are loved by God and me.  

So God when do we go back to Ukraine again?


  1. AMEN!!! Love you guys!! Keeping you in our prayers!

  2. Thank you girl so much for all your prayers! Love ya too!

  3. Praying for God to move those mountains! <3

  4. Amen ... Nicole! I have been praying while you have been away (for ALL involved). I wrote you a long letter on this blog, but it all was lost .... Oh, well ... but, kept praying! Our Lord reigns and He IS Sovereign! Can't help but love you and I see exactly why you love these kids/orphans. Jesus placed this (love for them) right smack in your heart for His purposes and for His glory! Keep doing what you're doing (what we're ALL called to do!) Carrie Bryant

  5. thanks for writing. I needed this today. I woke feeling discouraged. sometimes I wonder if we will ever really know how to love our kids or if they will be able to feel it.